Flavor Flav for President

During the 2008 presidential election, some black comics were saying, “It’s not like we’re voting for Flavor Flav.”

Maybe not, but remember, we had George W. Bush for eight years. At least Flav hasn’t had attempts on his life by a pretzel and a shoe.

Besides, Bush’s presidency was more about his cabinet anyway.

Chuck D, Public Enemy’s front man, would be perfect for Vice President. Dick Cheney was pretty much the President during the Bush years, although he would’ve been virtually unelectable. Instead of robbing Nigeria or shooting lawyers in the face, Chuck might send some people to regulate Arizona or stop illegal wiretapping.

Could you imagine the S1Ws in cabinet? If there was anyone who could take a stab at reversing all the damage done by Donald Rumsfeld and continued by Hillary Clinton, it would be Professor Griff.

What would the consequences of a Public Enemy administration be?

Having politicians that would actually fight for net neutrality isn’t exactly a doomsday scenario.

Hiring an administration with a sustainable international business model sounds like a reasonable idea considering our economic crisis.

Call me crazy but I don’t think Flav would’ve invaded Libya. Instead of “taking boots off the ground” by putting drones in the air, the PE administration would represent a real chance at ending over a trillion dollars of war.

Even though Obama is in office we still award contracts to Halliburton and Xe Services (formerly Blackwater). What’s the worst that would happen with Flav? Would we give contracts to Slam Jamz or pump money into public school music programs? At least that money wouldn’t end up in the hands of the Taliban.

Nonetheless, people would argue that Flav would be an embarrassment. It’s no secret that he doesn’t have the educational background of an Obama, but then again, Bush went to Yale.

Every Presidential candidate runs on image. What do we know about Flav? He does what he has to do to feed his family. Flav has overcame serious adversity. He doesn’t let vehement criticism stop him from doing his thing.

Not to mention, he would have the most entertaining, sometimes for the wrong reasons, presidential addresses ever.

Could you imagine the nicknames for world leaders? It’d be worth the price of admission to see Benjamin Netanyahu only addressed as “Ol’ Lying Bastard”.

If Flav were President I wouldn’t have to worry about Al Sharpton, the only black man with a prime time cable news show, refusing to criticize him. Tavis Smiley and Cornel West could hold him accountable without being labeled “Uncle Toms“.

With what some on the right have said about Obama, their ammo for Flav couldn’t be much worse.

Considering a Mitch McConnell or Michelle Bachmann’s not so subtle contempt for a black man of Obama’s stature, they might stop chanting “one-term president” with Flav in office.

People say we can’t criticize Obama because we might not get another shot with a black President. If that’s what it has come to then we have forgotten the point of having a black President in the first place.

At the end of the day, image is nothing. Give the President a cabinet willing to put their lives on the line to stop the powers that be and we just might find some real hope and change.

I’d vote for Flavor Flav and the PE administration any day.


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